What's Your Relationship Conflict Style?

1. When a disagreement arises, what is your immediate instinct?

A) To address it directly and discuss solutions. B) To avoid the discomfort and hope it resolves itself. C) To prepare to defend my position and win the argument.

2. How important is it for you to have your way during a conflict?

A) Less important; finding a solution that works for everyone is key. B) Somewhat important, but I'm willing to compromise. C) Very important; I usually believe my way is best.

3. When someone expresses anger towards you, how do you typically react?

A) I try to stay calm and understand their perspective. B) I tend to withdraw or shut down emotionally. C) I might get defensive or angry in return.

4. Do you prefer to discuss conflicts immediately or after cooling down?

A) After cooling down and thinking it through. B) Immediately, to get it over with. C) I prefer not to discuss it at all if possible.

5. How open are you to admitting when you're wrong during a disagreement?

A) Very open; I believe it's important for resolution. B) Somewhat open, but it can be difficult for me. C) Rarely; I find it hard to admit fault.

6. Do you prioritize maintaining harmony in the relationship, even if it means sacrificing your own needs?

A) Often; keeping the peace is very important to me. B) I try to find a balance between my needs and harmony. C) No, my needs are my priority.

7. When a conflict is unresolved, how do you feel?

A) Frustrated, and I'll continue to seek a resolution. B) Anxious, but I might passively hope it goes away. C) Unbothered; I'm quick to move on regardless of resolution.

8. Do you use "I" statements (e.g., "I feel...") or "You" statements (e.g., "You always...") during conflict?

A) Mostly "I" statements to express my feelings. B) A mix of both, depending on the situation. C) Mostly "You" statements, often blaming the other person.

9. How important is it for you to understand the other person's perspective during a conflict?

A) Very important; I actively try to understand their point of view. B) Somewhat important, but I focus more on explaining my own. C) Not very important; I focus on getting my point across.

10. When you're upset with a loved one, do you tend to hold grudges?

A) Rarely; I prefer to resolve issues and move on. B) Sometimes, if the issue is significant or unresolved. C) Often; I find it hard to let go of past hurts.

11. Do you actively seek compromise when you have a conflict with a loved one?

A) Yes, I believe compromise is essential for resolution. B) I'm willing to compromise if they are, but I don't always initiate it. C) Rarely; I prefer to get my way or for them to give in.

12. How comfortable are you with silence or tension during a disagreement?

A) Relatively comfortable, as long as it leads to dialogue. B) Uncomfortable; I try to avoid it or fill the silence quickly. C) I might use silence as a way to express disapproval or punish.

13. Do you ever feel like you're 'walking on eggshells' around a loved one to avoid conflict?

A) Rarely or never; I feel comfortable expressing myself. B) Sometimes, if I perceive them to be particularly sensitive or volatile. C) Often; I constantly adjust my behavior to prevent arguments.

14. What do you believe is the primary goal of conflict in a relationship?

A) To achieve mutual understanding and strengthen the relationship. B) To resolve the immediate issue quickly, even if it's not perfect. C) To win the argument or establish dominance.

15. After a conflict, do you typically revisit the issue to ensure full resolution and healing?

A) Yes, I make sure we fully resolve and understand each other. B) Sometimes, but often we just move on without full closure. C) Rarely; once it's over, it's over.